Looking After Your Own Mental Health as a Parent

October is Mental Health Month in Australia — a time when we’re encouraged to check in on our own wellbeing and the wellbeing of the people around us.

For parents, that first part is often the one that gets skipped.

Most of the parents we meet are extraordinarily good at noticing how everyone else is going. They know which child didn’t sleep, who is worried about a friendship, which appointment is next and what still needs to be signed for school. What they notice far less often is how they are going.

This month, we want to turn the attention around.

Why Your Wellbeing Matters — For You and for Them

Looking after yourself isn’t selfish, and it isn’t an extra to get to once everything else is done. It is part of looking after your family.

Children learn to manage their emotions largely by borrowing calm from the adults around them. When parents are exhausted, stretched and running on empty, it is much harder to stay steady when a child is overwhelmed — not because you care any less, but because there is nothing left in the tank.

When parents are supported, rested and have some space to breathe, everything else becomes a little more manageable.

Signs You Might Be Running on Empty

Parenting is tiring for everyone. But it may be time to pay closer attention if you notice:

• feeling exhausted most of the time, even after rest
• being short-tempered, snapping more than you’d like, or feeling numb
• feeling constantly on edge or waiting for the next problem
• losing interest in things you used to enjoy
• difficulty sleeping, even when you have the chance
• feeling alone, unseen or like no one understands
• persistent worry, guilt or low mood
• relying more on alcohol, food or scrolling to get through the day

These are not signs of failure. They are signs that you have been carrying a lot, often for a long time.

When Parenting Is More Demanding

Some parents carry an especially heavy load: parents of neurodivergent children, children with anxiety or other mental health difficulties, children with medical needs, or children going through a hard season. The appointments, school meetings, advocacy, unpredictable days and broken sleep add up.

Many of these parents also describe feeling isolated — as though friends and family don’t quite understand what daily life looks like. If that is you, it is worth saying clearly: what you are doing is hard, and it makes sense that you feel tired.

Small Steps That Help

Big changes are rarely realistic when life is already full. Small, regular steps are more sustainable.

1. Notice how you’re actually going. A quick daily check-in — “How am I, out of ten?” — helps you spot when things are sliding before you hit empty.

2. Protect a little time that’s just yours. Ten minutes with a coffee outside, a walk, a podcast, a shower without interruptions. Small pockets of time for yourself add up.

3. Lower the bar where you can. Not everything needs to be done, or done perfectly. Simple dinners, a messy house and a “good enough” week are all okay.

4. Look after the basics. Sleep, food, movement and time outside sound simple, but they have a real effect on mood and stress — and they are often the first things parents sacrifice.

5. Stay connected. Talk to someone who gets it: a partner, a friend, another parent, a parent support group. Feeling understood is one of the most protective things there is.

6. Ask for and accept help. Let someone take the kids for an hour. Say yes when someone offers. You don’t have to do it all alone.

7. Be kind to yourself. Every parent loses their temper, gets things wrong and has days they’d rather forget. Repair matters more than perfection — for your children and for you.

When to Reach Out

It may be time to talk to someone if you have been feeling low, anxious, overwhelmed or exhausted for more than a couple of weeks, if it is affecting your sleep, relationships or ability to get through the day, or if the small steps aren’t making a difference.

A good starting point is your GP, who can talk through how you are going and, if eligible, prepare a Mental Health Treatment Plan so you can access Medicare-rebated sessions with a psychologist.

If you are ever in crisis or worried about your safety, call Lifeline on 13 11 14 (24/7), or 000 in an emergency.

How We Can Help

At The Social Space Psychology Clinic, we support adults as well as children and teens. We offer individual therapy for parents and adults experiencing stress, anxiety, low mood or burnout, and parent support for families navigating challenges together.

Medicare rebates may be available with a GP referral and Mental Health Treatment Plan — see our Fees & Rebates page.

This Mental Health Month, we hope you’ll take a moment to check in with yourself. You matter too.

👉 Get in touch with our team to talk about how we can support you.